The Office is currently one of my favorite TV shows. With it's dry humor and interesting characters there are bound to be some excellent one-liners. Here are a few from my favorite episodes.
Michael: Today, I'm headed over to the job fair at Valley View High School to find some new interns, to get some fresh blood—um, euthanize this place.
(Discussing an accident where Michael hit an employee with his car)
Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael: Yes. It was on company property, with company property, so double jeopardy. We are fine.
Ryan: I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael: Oh, right, I'm sorry. What is "we're fine"?
Michael: I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon- sue me- and since I don't have a butler, I have to do it myself. So most nights before I go to bed I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill. I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious. It's good for me. It's the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot. That's it. I don't see what's so hard to believe about that!
Andy: I am a great interviewee. Why? Because I have something no one else has...my brain. Which I use to my advantage when advantageous.
Dwight: Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check in time now. Check out time is never.
Jim: Does my room have cable?
Dwight: No, and the sheets are made of fire!
Jim: Can I change rooms?
Dwight: No, we're all booked up. Hell convention in town!
Jim: Can I have a late check out?
Dwight: I'll have to talk to the manager.
Jim: You're not the manager...even in your own fantasy?
Dwight: I'm the owner....the co-owner. With Satan!
Jim: Okay, just so I understand it... in your wildest fantasy, you are in hell. And you are co-running a bed and breakfast with the devil.
Dwight: But I haven't told you my salary.
Jim: Go.
Dwight: Eighty thousand dollars a year!
(Michael in confessional)
Michael: It takes a big man to admit his mistake and that’s what I did. The important thing is I learned something. I don’t want somebody sucking up to me because they think I’m going to help their career. I want them sucking up to me because they genuinely love me. (smiles at the camera) Hmm.
If you're new to The Office, go here for a synopsis of the show as well as episode descriptions and other Office related information. Also, NBC has started letting people download episodes of The Office so you can catch up!
If you're also a fan of the office post some of your favorite quotes and Office moments in the comments section. The season finale is this week, Toby is leaving Dunder Mifflin and Michael is throwing a party to celebrate. Enjoy!
4 comments:
I liked Michael's line from the Job Fair episode:
"Yeah, I'm trying to lure these kids into my booth,but uh, kids are very wary of being lured these days . . . thank you Dateline."
--Chris Welsh
Michael: Ladies and Gentlemen. I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Jim: What?
Dwight: Where?
Michael: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital, and the doctors tried to save her life. They did the best that they could... And she is going to be OK.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why did you have to phrase it like that?
Oh man, I think Dwight and his Hotel Hell quote could be my all-time Office favorite. Either that or at the job fair when Michael told the kid about Pam: "I would never say this to her face, but she is a gifted artist and a wonderful person." And Oscar goes, "Why wouldn't you say that to her face?" What a great show :-)
We LOVE the office! That is so great!! I've been telling your wife for weeks that we need to get together, but since you are the one with a schedule you need to let us know when is a good time!
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